Dumbass Neighbors

"TheRealBicycleBuck" (therealbicyclebuck) 06/29/2016 at 23:11 • Filed to: None

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There’s a new kid in the neighborhood. He’s about 13 years old and he’s been tearing up the land behind my house on a no-name chinese dirt bike, probably about 80-110cc with a real clutch and gearbox. His little bike makes a lot of noise, so I’ve listened to him go from stalling the bike regularly to being rather competent with a clutch. I call him a squid-in-training since he prefers to ride in shorts and a muscle shirt with the only nod to safety being a pair of gloves.

This looks like the bike - a SunL SLD33, 110cc.

This evening he took the next step to squid-dom. He started bombing up and down the street at night with no lights and no clothing except a pair of shorts. That was going just a little too far. I walked out to the street and stopped him.

I calmly explained that he was driving an unlicensed vehicle on a public street without lights, without safety gear, without a driver’s license, and without insurance. He took the typical teenager attitude and told me to f*** off. To his credit, he did tell me to “talk to his people” and rode it home.

Up to this point I had not seen which house this kid was coming from. Tonight I was able to confirm that he’s living with the dumbass four doors down. This guy has a history of doing dumb stuff and is known locally as the “naked man” since his preferred dress code is shorts and nothing else. Naked man has a couple of kids, but this one is new to the household.

Before the kid could get home, two cars turned onto the street. The first one honked at him since he was in the middle of the street and was hard to see without lights. The kid moved right, then turned left into his driveway, cutting off the second car. That one anticipated the move and braked hard to avoid hitting him.

I walked down the street to take the kid up on his offer to talk to his people. Naked man and some woman who I’d never seen before (not the one who I thought was his wife) were hanging out in the garage. It’s been converted into a second living room, so they were there with the other two kids watching TV.

I explained to them that it’s illegal for him to ride on the street and without any safety gear. They didn’t seem to care until I further explained that all it would take is one wreck in the street and they would be on the hook for the kid’s injuries and whatever damages he caused. The woman (not sure if she’s his mom) finally showed some interest when I told her the kid just cut off a car when he pulled into their driveway. Naked man just sat there and smiled like a dumbass.

I think it’s time to move.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > TheRealBicycleBuck 06/29/2016 at 23:14

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Unpopular opinion: kids suck

Connqr > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/29/2016 at 23:18

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Correction: other people's kids suck

smobgirl > TheRealBicycleBuck 06/29/2016 at 23:19

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Are you my neighbor?

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Connqr 06/29/2016 at 23:19

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No drop of water believes it is responsible for the flood.

S65 > TheRealBicycleBuck 06/29/2016 at 23:22

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Just wait until the kid crashes

Invinciblejets > TheRealBicycleBuck 06/29/2016 at 23:22

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Yup move to the woods. Fuck neighbors.

TheRealBicycleBuck > smobgirl 06/29/2016 at 23:24

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Do you have a kid riding a dirt bike up and down a residential street at night or are you also frustrated with a neighbor who does?

smobgirl > TheRealBicycleBuck 06/29/2016 at 23:27

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I have one or many neighbors who do. Also ATVs and ninja bikes and everything else dangerous and/or obnoxious. And what do those red octagons mean anyway?

I admire you for actually going to say something. Hopefully it helps!

TheRealBicycleBuck > S65 06/29/2016 at 23:31

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Is it wrong to hope for that? Perhaps just a little crash. Maybe some road rash, but no broken bones. Nothing too serious, just a lesson that’s going to leave a mark.

TheRealBicycleBuck > Invinciblejets 06/29/2016 at 23:32

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I grew up in the country. We rode dirt bikes where they belong - in the dirt.

I miss the country.

S65 > TheRealBicycleBuck 06/29/2016 at 23:32

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No

TheRealBicycleBuck > smobgirl 06/29/2016 at 23:36

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Thanks. I hope it does the trick, but my previous experience with these people indicates otherwise.

Your boy, BJR > TheRealBicycleBuck 06/29/2016 at 23:40

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The fuckin’ south man....

Roadster Man > TheRealBicycleBuck 06/29/2016 at 23:41

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Just call the police and make them get off their butts and do something.

TheRealBicycleBuck > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/29/2016 at 23:44

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It’s not the kid’s fault, it’s the crappy parent’s fault.

TheRealBicycleBuck > Your boy, BJR 06/29/2016 at 23:48

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Ha ha, yeah....

http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2016/04/04/mot…

TheRealBicycleBuck > Roadster Man 06/29/2016 at 23:50

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We live far enough outside the city limits for police response times for non-emergency calls to be an hour or more.

Your boy, BJR > TheRealBicycleBuck 06/29/2016 at 23:52

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Fuck, idk what NY’s deal is. I hate that place. It throws up all its shitheads on my beaches every summer.

Matt Nichelson > TheRealBicycleBuck 06/30/2016 at 00:17

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Yep, that’s basically a typical day in Mississippi too. I feel your pain.

CCC (formerly CyclistCarCoexist) > TheRealBicycleBuck 06/30/2016 at 00:36

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Call the police and report them for child endangerment. Explain to them how their parents understand how dangerous their child’s actions are and willingly allow this form of neglect to occur.

Or you can return the favor by making a CL listing for a SunL SLD33 with a location listed very close to where said little shit lives.

Roadster Man > TheRealBicycleBuck 06/30/2016 at 00:39

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Ugh. file a nuisance complaint in county court. When they get papers served they *should* take it seriously.

samssun > TheRealBicycleBuck 06/30/2016 at 04:38

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Darwin works in mysterious ways. Why as a society do we work so hard to block him?

(I know, I know...that certain mentality that wants a dependably dependent voting base)

Manny05x > TheRealBicycleBuck 06/30/2016 at 05:49

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Steal his bike. Sell it on Craigslist.

Manny05x > Your boy, BJR 06/30/2016 at 06:05

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Orchard?

shop-teacher > TheRealBicycleBuck 06/30/2016 at 07:32

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I kinda doubt even a little road rash is going to do the trick with this one.

petebmwm > Your boy, BJR 06/30/2016 at 07:46

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I get philly down here..

TheRealBicycleBuck > shop-teacher 06/30/2016 at 08:11

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You are probably right. Even the kid in that video laments about not being able to ride as his friends pour water over his wounds.

TheRealBicycleBuck > CCC (formerly CyclistCarCoexist) 06/30/2016 at 08:15

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Ouch. I’m hoping that a civil conversation will do the trick.

TheRealBicycleBuck > Manny05x 06/30/2016 at 08:19

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Too Mission Impossible for my taste. Naked man put a big-screen TV on his back porch a couple of years ago. Everyone knew about it because he doesn’t have a fence. The inevitable happened - someone stole the TV. That’s when I learned that Naked Man isn’t a complete idiot and the thief was caught on his security cameras. I suppose I could hack into his security system...

shop-teacher > TheRealBicycleBuck 06/30/2016 at 08:42

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Yeah, stupid is veeeeeery stubborn.

Your boy, BJR > petebmwm 06/30/2016 at 08:59

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I thought you were north....

Manny05x > TheRealBicycleBuck 06/30/2016 at 09:12

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Do that and fill it with child pornography and call the cops.

TheRealBicycleBuck > Manny05x 06/30/2016 at 09:45

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Remind me to stay on your good side.

petebmwm > Your boy, BJR 06/30/2016 at 09:50

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i have lots of friends up there near red bank and crystal lakes, thats how i recognized the pizza place you worked at.. i live 10 minutes from ac.

Your boy, BJR > petebmwm 06/30/2016 at 09:52

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Ah.

Manny05x > TheRealBicycleBuck 06/30/2016 at 10:26

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Haha.

OPPOsaurus WRX > TheRealBicycleBuck 06/30/2016 at 17:34

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I’d be so nervous confronting them. They don’t sound like they make smart decisions. I complained to a neighbor about thier ducks shitting on my driveway and he told me to shoot it and put it on YouTube.

TheRealBicycleBuck > OPPOsaurus WRX 06/30/2016 at 17:58

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A lot of my comfort with confrontation comes from being a resident advisor for several years. I’ve gone out of my way to be helpful to them when I could, so it’s not all doom and gloom when I walk down the street. But when it comes down to it, even dumbasses are fairly reasonable when they realize the law is on my side.